If you’ve been reading my blog posts then you know that I have loved every second of motherhood, and being a stay at home mom (SAHM) this past year. I have considered myself so blessed to be able to see Josie hit every milestone and spend precious time with her. And while I will always consider myself fortunate for this, unfortunately, I lost sight of that a little bit. Throughout the past year, I began to feel like more of a weight in our little family than anything else. I battled such negative self-talk for quite some time, and I’m still learning how to silence it. It all focused around me deciding to stay home and not work. I didn’t realize how much a paycheck could make you feel valuable. And how the lack thereof can make you feel like you don’t have anything to offer. I would first like to say that Cody has never ever made me feel this way; that all of this negativity was created right in my own mind. There are SO many moms who don’t work, yet I always feel like I must be the only mom who has ever stayed home and fully relied on her husband to make money. This is ridiculous, I know that it is. Yet, for me it has been something that I have had to push through every month.
This has been a season in my life that I’m learning to embrace. It was almost like I ran into a wall when I had this epiphany about who this season is teaching me to be. I may not have a job that I go to outside the home, and I may not contribute financially each month. I’m not excelling in a corporate job and making connections. And part of me feels a sadness that I’m not meeting those types of goals or garnering acceptance from coworkers. But, and this truly hit me smack in the face, I have the most important job right now as a wife and mother. Of course I knew this all along. Read back a few posts and I wrote about working in the home and how important it was…but I didn’t understand it like I do now.
This little season of my life, God placed me here, now, on purpose. I want to be an exceptional wife! I want to be an exceptional mom! And if all I can focus on is how I’m not an exceptional (whatever job title fits), then I’m missing out on what I am! I can’t look in the past or look in the future right now. I need to focus on today, this season, this year. It doesn’t matter what everyone around me is doing. I believe that social media has played into this lie I have been believing. Everything we read or see today is about success and making it. And I do believe in everyday striving to be a better version of yourself. But the beauty is that is different for everyone.
Sometimes we can get so blindsided by other’s success it is hard to see what we have because it looks so different.
I am in such a different season of life than any of my friends. That is hard sometimes! My life looks nothing like theirs and many times it is hard to relate or even connect. But I cannot compare where I am to where they are. And sometimes we just need to put down the phone, log out, and be fully present in our own lives.
If you have a job outside of home and you’re also a wife and mom, I wish I could give you an award! I commend you on working hard and juggling all of those responsibilities. But if you’re a SAHM and sometimes feel like I did, please be encouraged that what you are doing matters. Loving your family well matters. Creating a home that your husband and children feel comfortable and safe in matters. Showing up every day and being a nurturer matters. I promise it does. And it may go unnoticed. You won’t get Employee of the Month, you won’t get a raise, you won’t get a promotion, but you will get a legacy of being the best title you could have; Wife and Mom. And I promise that greatly outweighs any paycheck you could bring home.
*Photos by Madi Wagner Photography